old dog; new tricks
i have seen someone in love. it shocked me to my core and then, after retracing its steps back to my outsides, re-administered the same shock, just to make sure that my senses perceived what it was that i was witnessing. though not usually a fan of the senses, they do sometimes alert me to something interesting and fascinating, and this little performance was both. I know that anyone who still checks up on this sincere little blog, which has laid dormant for more than six months, would be wholly shocked if i mentioned that it was i who is in love. unluckily for you, it is not i, but the simple fact that i am the one who noticed it is saying that i am the one who has not only recognized it but also accepted it as an actual emotion.
essentially, with the new year, much like last year, something new has come around, and this time, it isn't the self destructive nature of myself. this time, it isn't i who is out to persuade the world of a different opinion but rather it is a new kind of feeling that sets us all free. a feeing of needing and wanting and resisting while conceding; infact, who knew such a feeling could actually exist? oh but the world, says you. the world, you scream! the world knew it was there and you chose to look the other way as if there was something in your heart that did not want you to sneak a glance. it's almost as if one sly eye movement would have destroyed your whole being and in avoiding the look, you were able to accept the nature of the sensation without actually accepting the nature of the battle.
the battle you have lost with yourself, but in losing, you have actually won. you won your right to live and hope and think that there is something else out there for you, something that is real that everyone has been trying to tell you about while you stubbornly turn your head the other way. and now you have earned your right to look back, to see what the world has been enjoying. so look back, self. look back. see where your life has taken you, the beautiful things it has given you, and the wonderful places it will lead you.
yes, it is me, but with a new philosophy.
essentially, with the new year, much like last year, something new has come around, and this time, it isn't the self destructive nature of myself. this time, it isn't i who is out to persuade the world of a different opinion but rather it is a new kind of feeling that sets us all free. a feeing of needing and wanting and resisting while conceding; infact, who knew such a feeling could actually exist? oh but the world, says you. the world, you scream! the world knew it was there and you chose to look the other way as if there was something in your heart that did not want you to sneak a glance. it's almost as if one sly eye movement would have destroyed your whole being and in avoiding the look, you were able to accept the nature of the sensation without actually accepting the nature of the battle.
the battle you have lost with yourself, but in losing, you have actually won. you won your right to live and hope and think that there is something else out there for you, something that is real that everyone has been trying to tell you about while you stubbornly turn your head the other way. and now you have earned your right to look back, to see what the world has been enjoying. so look back, self. look back. see where your life has taken you, the beautiful things it has given you, and the wonderful places it will lead you.
yes, it is me, but with a new philosophy.
posted by The Smart Pineapple at 19:22
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