before i begin my lament, i should note that there is nothing i love more in my life than my friends, family, and the generic-brand happiness that i wish i could bestow upon everyone like fairy dust.
however, there are a few certain times that i would love nothing more than to extract that happy dust from everyone around me so that i can inject it into my own veins like a much needed heroin fix.
these are the days of summer school, where my days more frequently than not begin as the sun is rising and end well after the technical deadline of the day has passed. i cannot remember the last time the hours of a night's sleep needed two hands to be counted. the dead silence of the family-oriented neighborhood screams in my ears all through the night. sober sleep is non-existant; drugged sleep lasts but a few hours before a startling dream yanks me back into consciousness and i lay under the makeshift canapy over my head wondering how high i have to set the windforce on my fan to actually blow the fabric off of its nails and flailing about the closet-sized room. when naps are attempted, i lay on my side with some aninal smashed against my body like i'm trying desperately to make it part of me, watching the three two centimeter fish swim in and out of the bubbles in my one gallon fishtank on my nightstand. i know they are mystified as to why at certain areas of their cage they are suddenly pushed upward and at others they are not.
fish are stupid.
finally, i resign to my fate and read Gone with the Wind, which i have been attempting to read for seven months now and have progressed a mere 240 pages.
it's strange, because i have never met a classic i didn't enjoy until that expanse of bound pages. even now, if i try hard to pay attention to the racial slurs and incomprehendable pigeon i can sometimes find myself completely obsorbed in the story, but this usually is interupted by the constant hammering of the various persons living in my house, trying desperately to get the boxes and boxes of shit out of the general living space.
and then i remember that i should be sleeping in this time. or doing homework.
so, anyone have just a little spare dust? just a little? times like these-- i could really use some.
however, there are a few certain times that i would love nothing more than to extract that happy dust from everyone around me so that i can inject it into my own veins like a much needed heroin fix.
these are the days of summer school, where my days more frequently than not begin as the sun is rising and end well after the technical deadline of the day has passed. i cannot remember the last time the hours of a night's sleep needed two hands to be counted. the dead silence of the family-oriented neighborhood screams in my ears all through the night. sober sleep is non-existant; drugged sleep lasts but a few hours before a startling dream yanks me back into consciousness and i lay under the makeshift canapy over my head wondering how high i have to set the windforce on my fan to actually blow the fabric off of its nails and flailing about the closet-sized room. when naps are attempted, i lay on my side with some aninal smashed against my body like i'm trying desperately to make it part of me, watching the three two centimeter fish swim in and out of the bubbles in my one gallon fishtank on my nightstand. i know they are mystified as to why at certain areas of their cage they are suddenly pushed upward and at others they are not.
fish are stupid.
finally, i resign to my fate and read Gone with the Wind, which i have been attempting to read for seven months now and have progressed a mere 240 pages.
it's strange, because i have never met a classic i didn't enjoy until that expanse of bound pages. even now, if i try hard to pay attention to the racial slurs and incomprehendable pigeon i can sometimes find myself completely obsorbed in the story, but this usually is interupted by the constant hammering of the various persons living in my house, trying desperately to get the boxes and boxes of shit out of the general living space.
and then i remember that i should be sleeping in this time. or doing homework.
so, anyone have just a little spare dust? just a little? times like these-- i could really use some.
posted by The Smart Pineapple at 12:07
2 Comments:
here is some spare dust for you: I'll be back in SB in less than three weeks to make your life spectacular!
woo hoo.
friends coming back to see me. do you know how vacant it's been? i've hung out with elaine TWICE.
just think about that for awhile.
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