"it's so lonely."
"why?"
"because everyone is in the same place as you but no solace can be found in it. it's frustrating, to be sitting here in my own fenced off space, moving at snail pace, and having nobody to comfort me in this moment that's so torturous."
"if i were there, i'd hold your hand and help you through."
"who would think that it could be so extreme..."

happiness is found in the strangest of places and lost in those situations that one would least expect it. what has this place become that you feel the loneliest when you are the most surrounded? are we so stuck on ourselves that we do not even think to seek the consolance of others? this is just too perplexing, shows no good outlook, and drags down the heart like a stone in the sea.

i'm not sure if life is supposed to be lonely or if a lonely life is no life at all. and does everyone feel l ike this all of the time but just masks it so that the world seems more comfortable or maybe they mask it so that they think that the life that they are choosing to live is worth living to themselves; a sort of trick played on their own mind in a dire situation that would be desolate and desperate if they failed at the game.

what if we play this game without even knowing it? this game of cheating our own self into believing that everything is peaches and cream when really it's not. maybe it's a facade that we put on for protection-- like repression-- because otherwise the seed of the situation would be too extreme for a healthy person to be able to cope with. it's like childbirth: if you remembered coming down that damp, bloody vagina, being forced from warm and fluid to cold and harsh, how could you ever learn to love the person who did this too you? the world would be that much more difficult with a slew of hateful children and ungrateful mishaps.

and really, who needs this when life is difficult enough already? nobody needs an already doomed relationship with their parent when it is going to be fucked most likely in the end anyway.