at 6:30 this morning, i had two very important realizations:

1. i was locked out of my house (again)

2. the sun was rising

so i did what any self indulgent college student would do. i turned to my neighbor, told him we must spit on all the VWs on our street, particularly the fucking jettas, and passed out on the couch in his room.

this is not the time or place for fucking with people, so, even if i can't be honest with anyone in my house or life right now, i will be honest with myself and all three of you that are priveledged enough to read my bullshit.

why did i pass out on his couch?

my thought process at the time was one of drunken logic, that is for sure. i could have slept in other locations around the residence. for instance, i know, based on my past experience, that the couches in the living room are perfectly suited for the sleeping. long and squishy, they are everything a temperarily homeless girl could ask for.

but i also knew, based on my experience thus far, that mister older gentleman is completely untrustable. he is quite near my father's age, yet he prances around our "property" as if he is a 25 year old boy. he shamelessly hits on women, or girls rather, and is currently undergoing a thc withdrawl, which officially makes him the first person i have ever met that is actually addicted to mary j.

and at 6:30 this morning, he had woken with the sun. while the neighbor and myself were getting ready to call it a night, he was bringing in the new day.

and, so, armed with this knowledge, i knew i could not sleep on the couch and agreed to crash in the bedroom.

now, this seems perfectly reasonable. except i know that the bed would have been so much easier to sleep on. there is nothing comfortable about a love seat sized futon couch and a blanket that, while it is warm, definately smells like it may not have been washed for quite some time.

but it's not like i expect it to have been. these are males, we're tlaking about.

here i stand. i looked at him. he looked at me. the question still hung in the sierra nevada nad keystone scented air around us. what accomodations would i like tonight? disclaimer noted: i'll probably rise first, so good morning in advance.

an hour of flirting and fighting and video games later, there is no pondering what should happen next.

i took the pillow and sweatshirt and boxers, went to the bathroom, filled my waterglass, and positioned myself like a fetus on the couch.

sorry neighbor. there's no questioning that i would love to be in the bed next to you, but somehow, somewhere in my mind, you didn't measure up to my drunken standards. and i wasn't even aware of this.