he's got a gun and a pocket full of fun and a razor in his shoe

i've had my phone for almost two years and i still haven't figured out how to operate it. for instance, while checking my voicemail today, it started ringing. not like "beep beep another person is calling you beep" but actually ringing. or, after i tried to answer the call from none other than [one of] my boss[s], i tried to reconnect to my voicemail by doing the obligitory "hold down one" speed dial thing but instead the numbre that popped up was ";86" instaed of "*86" and produced another ringing.

so things i hvae learned: ";86" means "call myself"? that could get me out of a lot of uncomfortable situations. too bad, upon further investigation, i have no idea how to generate a semicolin when my phone is clearly in number mode. whatever.

the real problem is that i ever tried to understand a phone that clearly isn't user-friendly. i mean, hello. who was i thinking i was? "sure, i'll take that phone because it's pretty. forget that it probably breaks even if dropped on eggcrate foam, but i'll never drop my phone. sure, i might have broken two previous phones and managed to significantly reduce the effectiveness of incoming calls with that brick of a nokia after i chucked it at my roommate, but this phone is different." right. different. the manual is like an encyclopedia. maybe even thicker. and i'm not talking about the skinny letters. i'm talking the letters that have to be split up, like the r's, s's, and t's. this is like the Sa-Sh encyclopedia.

the moral to the story is that flip phones are far too delicate and complicated. add that to the things i have learned today.

another thing i've learned: no matter how much i try to plan what i am going to do with my future, it simply boils down to i can't plan things for myself. i guess i'm just a in the moment kind of girl. that's a load of crap. i am just wandering. not lost. wandering.

i can almost not hear myself breath. this is an excellent sign. maybe my chest has cleared up.